Buttered Toast

I know right before i saw her until the day i married her that this might last forever or so i thought.

Fifteen years of marriage wasn't too easy yet wasn't difficult. Problems come and go but we managed to go through it. i wouldn't consider this relationship a perfect one, but all i know is that we live each day to the fullest. we quarrelled sometimes but we loved each other. We didn't have children but i didn't blame her for that, although I've always dreamt of having one who would call me daddy or just looking at them playing at the lawn or even carrying them on my shoulders. I even thought of adapting one but then i realized that if this is our fate I would gladly accept it, cause hey! we still have each other to fill each others needs; each hopes and dreams; each sorrows and joys. People often ask us of how do we keep our marriage tight and I often answer, "she loves me , I love her back; she converse with me I listen, vise versa and one important thing we bonded our love to the man above." Sometimes I think that if I married her without the following reasons we might have ended like everybody else, separated, lost, lonely. not until the day that changed our whole lives.

It was just an ordinary day with morning paper on both hands, coffee on one side of the table and the toast on the other. I reached for the toast, savoring its oven fresh smell. Oh, how this crunchy bread has savored my mornings for the last fifteen years of marriage, as my teeth touches the toast right there i knew something is wrong. She never buttered my toast for the last fifteen years.

The following day was her routine check-up and then there it was without a trace of how it all started. She was diagnosed of blood cancer yet she seemed so healthy and alive. Her rosy cheeks and milky white skin deteriorating. God! I wished I could take her place. I can't barely imagine the pain she's going through. Seeing her smile even though in great agony made me sick that I could only burst into tears. How could destiny play with people's lives like this? We were so happy, so in love yet this will shatter everything.

Day after day she slips away, day after day sh dies bit by bit and during those times I fill her with own life. Her sickness started to show signs, her eyes lost its sparkle, and her skin looked pale and her body tires easily. I was always at her side. I can't think of her all alone in moments like this. I was holding on able to hear her breathing in my ear, able to feel her heartbeat with mine. We were one soul.

Then one night as we were about to sleep she held my hand and stared at me with tears in her eyes. I asked her what's wrong but she answered me with a question. "Will you still love me?" I put my arms around hers and without doubt I answered "Till the day I die my love is yours, forever." with a smile she closed her eyes and left, then and there in my own arms. I know that she's gone, as simple as that, she didn't even give me a chance to say goodbye but then I thought who cares about goodbyes she never even left. The memory of her and her love still lingers in my heart, still i held her while I cried throughout the night savoring the remaining warmth of her body.

Today longing for her sweet caress and warm hugs never leaves my mind. You know what i rally miss most about her, those tender lips that I used to kiss everyday when I'm with her. Oh! Those were the times. People often ask me how did I survived my greatest tragedy in life and I often answer, "I know that she loves me, of course I love her back; I talk to her, she listens and one important thing we bonded our love with God."