"I've been so alone all my life, couldn't give my heart to anyone, hiding myself was a man who needed to be held like everyone."
Some of my friends know who i really am, but only a few of 
them know me that deeply, a few of them know me that completely.
them know me that deeply, a few of them know me that completely.I am a Loner, by choice and heart, some may misunderstand it as just being alone, by oneself, identify it literally, but its so much more than that. As I write this post I'm still trying to identify the whole meaning of it, here's what i know as of now based of what i have been for the past years.
Its like the tip of the iceberg that sunk the mighty Titanic, you only get to see what it shows but underneath those icy cold water lies the huge mystery of it and its up to you if you let it submerge you to the bottom of the abyss or not.
I do enjoy the company of others but sometimes when I'm with friends I tend to space out and forget I'm with them. Some loners like the serenity of being alone and having the expense of doing things at their own time but in my case there are emotions attached to it.
I was in college when i got the first whiff of freedom, so many possibilities to happen and so many friends to meet but making them was a whole different thing, likes and dislikes doesn't match, attitudes clash, college people are too complicated than high school ones that's why during that time my loner streak begun. Home and school were my only routine in college but during times of boredom going to the mall alone was a simple bliss, I was a contented loner then.
I have kept ties of my high school friends intact during college days and I do see them once in a while. They are my confidants during trying times but if I can resolve them by myself I'd much prefer it but never have I expected that one particular thing could change me and my idea of being a loner.
For years these raw emotions have kept me in check of the real feelings that keeps surfacing though hard as I might to bury them.
Like everyone else I had my share of loving someone but never got it back maybe because i was never brave enough to admit it to her and specially to myself, i have always locked what i have truly felt inside, afraid of things that might or might not happen until it was too late and I have never got over it since then.
Just like the iceberg and the mighty ship, I'm slowly sinking in. I only show people what I want them to see for the fear of their judging eyes pass me, for the fear rejection, for the fear getting hurt even more and these past few days the haunting of the past have awakened, you may pass me down the street or see me on a bus ever so normal but beneath it you may be wrong otherwise.
"run into the sun and watch me run into the rain, for you the future's easy, for me its getting steep."
