September 11, 2012

Morning makes me wonder

have i done something wrong?

feel you at my bed side

but you're already gone

Found you drinking coffee

all alone at the porch

with defeat on your face

and with teary cheeks, scorched

Your eyes lost its sparkle

passions' no longer there

the anguish, the sorrow

in you i cannot bare

I can't even touch you

avoid looking at me

could you hate me that much

that i refuse to see

What of our promises

to forever be true

thrown out of the window

i have you, you have you?

Followed you to nowhere

at eternal sleep roam

scents of rotting bouquets

of your reasons, unknown

Then suddenly you stop

eyes looking on the ground

to a labeled stone slab

the answers have been found

I'm sorry my dear

heartfelt truly i am

we'll soon be together

and FOREVER will come

HOW COULD YOU (Sept 10, 2012)

With those sinister stares

as it burns through my skin

the infernal desire

you violate, you sin

In the stillness of the night

under covers and sleep

your presence awakes me

i curled up and i weep

With your malicious touch

and your feverish breath

you paralyze my being

i'm weakened, i wait death

By sweat of defilement

grins of satisfaction

left me in silent sobs

longing for salvation

drifting dreams fail to come

of candies and rainbows

but of guilt and of pain

shattered future, horrors

What have you done to me

how could you, oh Daddy!

is this what you called love

but its insanity

Mommy, me dear Mommy!

comfort me with your hugs

help me forget all this

this we ask you, oh God.

Realy?!

Prevention? more like Neglect...

Realy now?! after what had happened last January 13.

after all of this?

Note: on an empty Fire Truck.. tsk! tsk! tsk!

The Deeper Me

"I've been so alone all my life, couldn't give my heart to anyone, hiding myself was a man who needed to be held like everyone."

Some of my friends know who i really am, but only a few of them know me that deeply, a few of them know me that completely.

I am a Loner, by choice and heart, some may misunderstand it as just being alone, by oneself, identify it literally, but its so much more than that. As I write this post I'm still trying to identify the whole meaning of it, here's what i know as of now based of what i have been for the past years.

Its like the tip of the iceberg that sunk the mighty Titanic, you only get to see what it shows but underneath those icy cold water lies the huge mystery of it and its up to you if you let it submerge you to the bottom of the abyss or not.

I do enjoy the company of others but sometimes when I'm with friends I tend to space out and forget I'm with them. Some loners like the serenity of being alone and having the expense of doing things at their own time but in my case there are emotions attached to it.

I was in college when i got the first whiff of freedom, so many possibilities to happen and so many friends to meet but making them was a whole different thing, likes and dislikes doesn't match, attitudes clash, college people are too complicated than high school ones that's why during that time my loner streak begun. Home and school were my only routine in college but during times of boredom going to the mall alone was a simple bliss, I was a contented loner then.

I have kept ties of my high school friends intact during college days and I do see them once in a while. They are my confidants during trying times but if I can resolve them by myself I'd much prefer it but never have I expected that one particular thing could change me and my idea of being a loner.

For years these raw emotions have kept me in check of the real feelings that keeps surfacing though hard as I might to bury them.

Like everyone else I had my share of loving someone but never got it back maybe because i was never brave enough to admit it to her and specially to myself, i have always locked what i have truly felt inside, afraid of things that might or might not happen until it was too late and I have never got over it since then.

Just like the iceberg and the mighty ship, I'm slowly sinking in. I only show people what I want them to see for the fear of their judging eyes pass me, for the fear rejection, for the fear getting hurt even more and these past few days the haunting of the past have awakened, you may pass me down the street or see me on a bus ever so normal but beneath it you may be wrong otherwise.

"run into the sun and watch me run into the rain, for you the future's easy, for me its getting steep."

New Year's Most Shocking Event

A lot of things happened for the past months and i would like to apologize for not keeping you updated but the turn of the new year has been so interesting specially this January.

New Year, New Experiences, New Events and New Controversies! This is the month of festivities among the Pozorrubians. Balikbayans have come home to join this momentous event, former classmates, guests on neighboring towns, and of course the people of Pozorrubio made it all possible. Numerous days and nights of celebration, dances that never seemed to end, drums have rolled, inspirational messages that tends to be spoken, we have witnessed it all, though we sweat under the smoldering heat and grew tired under the cold night breeze, we are still enthusiastic to watch, listen and participate, but one incident engulfed them all.

January 13, 2010

It was about noon and the street dancers were performing their routines at Plaza Pergola when huge black smoke abruptly dominated the clear sky, something was burning and base on those thick dark clouds i was certain that the fire must be massive and anything that's been fueling those fires will soon be turned into rubble. I overheard someone say that the new SPA building was the one in danger so as fast as i could i rushed to the site, although i felt relieved of what i saw i was more concerned about what i had witnessed.

Multiple classrooms and the auditorium of the Pozorrubio Central School was the one being consumed by the devastating fire, inch by inch the flames started to creep and eat away the poor institution as teachers try to salvage what they could grab at the moment. Where could we turn on to, and help us save whats left of it anyway? the Fire Department of Pozorrubio? unfortunately the are NOT PREPARED! they have NO WATER in their FIRE TRUCK TANK! so useless! on the other hand we thank the swift efforts of Sison, Binalonan and Urdaneta Fire Brigade (we also commend the other towns we might have forgoten to mention) but sadly we can only look back on the aftermath of whole incident.

What has truly happened? only ONE OMINOUS RUMOR has been spreading around like that very fire. Was is an accident of a faulty wiring? A neglected turned on computer? or was it something more? I know, the People of Pozorrubio are much observant these days and most wise. They can see through any false facts thrown at them.(another example on this would be the rations incident; what has happened to all the relief goods? where multiple trucks of it came and aid us after Ondoy and Pepeng? did it just disappear?) Pozorrubians do know and Pozorrubians are very much aware and to end this post I leave you all with a phrase.

VOTE WISELY!

P.S. "bato-bato sa langit, ang tamaan wag magalit, ang pikon ay laging talo!"

Hand Charge

Another wallpaper i made just a couple of minutes ago, a bit different from the first two which involves fantasy themes, this one is a bit dark in concept with a little grotesque quality. It has an image of a hand with a mouth of some kind and of course, can you guess? light beams and sparks lol! can't get enough of those. want to share some ideas for future wallpaper post? please comment or message me at my Cbox.

Heart Rapture

Here's another wallpaper that i just made today, the title says it all, its a mixture of bright yellow and dark red which gives it a fiery, explosion effect. i just love doing light beams and light sparks. I made this using GIMP 2.6.6 and thanks to GimpKnowHow of YouTube for the inspiring tutorial it gave me lots of possibilities. Do you have ideas for future wallpaper post? please leave your comments or messages at my Cbox.

September 3, 2009

Feather Pen

I just finished my first graphic desktop wallpaper using GIMP, its a combination of light beams, water splashes, and feather brushes. The colors are a mix of blue, white and light green. Its kind of a fantasy scene with all the lights and sparkle effects with the contrasting power of the beams and the serene background. Feel free to use this wallpaper on your computer or on your site (Friendster, MySpace, etc.). Hope that i could make more wonderful designs in my future posts. If you want a customized wallpaper please leave a comment or post a message on my shout box.

August 25, 2009

woke up at around 8 in the morning...

figured out that my room needs a major clean up...

took all the things i would need...

started cleaning 5 minutes later...

sneezing at the same time...

sorted all the magazines...

wiped off every dusty corners...

still sneezing at the same time...

rearranged all the books...

reduced the clutter...

yup still sneezing...

got a little allergy to dust...

finished cleaning my room an hour and a half later...

took a bath...

and i'm good to go...

Lie To Me

Currently released just this January, produced by 20th Century Fox Studios, a brand new series to watch for.

From writer Samuel Baum ("The Evidence") and the executive producers of "24" and "Arrested Development" comes LIE TO ME, a drama series inspired by a real-life specialist who can read clues embedded in the human face, body, and voice to expose the truth in criminal investigations.

When you scratch your chin, wring your hands, wrinkle your nose, or swallow too much, DR. CAL LIGHTMAN knows you're lying. He doesn't just think so, he knows so, because he's taken his exceptional skills of observation to become the foremost deception expert in the country. Being a human lie detector, Cal can uncover the deepest secrets and crack the hardest cases. More accurate than any polygraph test, he knows when those in front of him are being less than forthcoming, be they family, friends, or complete strangers.

Cal heads up a private agency contracted by the FBI, local police, law firms, corporations, and private individuals when they hit roadblocks in their searches for the truth. Joining him are a variety of experts in the field of behavioral evaluation: DR. GILLIAN FOSTER is a gifted psychologist and Cal's professional partner, a woman whose guidance Cal needs, whether he knows it or not; WILL LOKER is Cal's lead researcher, and he's so aware of the human tendency to lie that he's decided to uncomplicate matters and practice what he terms "radical honesty": he says everything on his mind at all times. RIA TORRES, the newest member of the team, arrives at the truth differently by acting more on instinct and using her natural, less-studied ability to read body language and catch certain clues that Cal's other pledges may miss.

Brian Grazer, David Nevins, and Samuel Baum serve as executive producers in conjunction with 20th Century Fox Television on this intriguing character drama based on the science of emotion. The show will tell stories that are not simply about the search for an elusive criminal, but also about the search for something even more difficult to pin down: fundamental human truth.

LIE TO ME probes how people can deceive themselves just as easily as they deceive others, and explores the idea that there's nothing more revealing than when we choose to tell the truth and when we decide to lie.

exerpts from http://www.filmaffinity.com/en/film942395.html

this series is a unique twist to all crime busting series out on tv so be sure to catch the latest season of LIE TO ME on FOX, contact your local cable provider now, lol!

The Axe Effect On A Restaurant Attendant

An interesting and witty commercial from Axe, nice plot, great acting. There are three things i like in this video, first would be the one bit in the beginning when the girl noticed the wonderful smell of Axe, raising her eyebrow (0:08), the second would be the bit about the ketchup, notice his blank expression but completely comes to a shock when she suddenly grabs the bottle (0:14), and the last part would be the bit when she's adding on the ketchup with a seductive look on her face (0:20). A very nice Ad compared to the other Ads from Axe like the one about the chocolate man, very disturbing, and i hate those creepy eyes.

The Greatest President We Never Had - Jovito Salonga

The day was August 21st, 26 years ago, a great man was assassinated, a man that could have been the GREATEST PRESIDENT the country has ever had. A man that gave voice to the mumbled cries of the suppressed, a man that was sent to prison for his moralistic ideas, a man who sacrificed everything even his own life for the love of his country.

I was a year old then when he was killed and i was not aware what was happening then, i was also wondering, did my parents actually named me after him? maybe i should ask them? or maybe not, but nonetheless of what they may say i am proud to have his name as mine, a name that stirred the hearts of millions of Filipino people, a name that signifies hope to those who have less, and a name that called the people and united them as one.

He died a tragic death but his death was not his end it was just the beginning of many great things. He may not be here mortally but his legacy still remains, and that very legacy shall carry on and be realized to be our future and the future of the following generations.

Today, August 21, 2009, its been 26 years. let us remember what has happened for the past 26 years, let us remember who started it all, let us remember the man. the man who was never afraid to speak his mind, the man who wanted to change it all, the man named;

Benigno Servillano "Ninoy" Aquino, Jr.

November 27, 1932 – August 21, 1983

What is Love?

Love is like…
Oil,
That plumps us up,
Dilates the eyes,
Puts glow in the skin,
And makes us see other kinds of beauty.
Love is like…
A modern invention,
And largely an obsession.
But perhaps we might ask
What such love should be.
Love should be…
An act of will,
Of passionate patience – flexible,
Cunning,
Constant,
Proof against roasting and freezing,
Drought and flood,
And the shifting climates of mood and age.
In order to make it succeed,
One must lose all preconceptions.
Must be built…
On truth,
Not dream,
And the knowledge of what we are,
Rather than what we think of.
The sum of love is…
That it should be a meeting place,
An interlocking of nerves and senses,
A series of constant surprises
And renewals of each others moods.
Best of all…
A steady building,
From inside out.
For the wholeness, love…
Must be deeper,
To adapt to the worlds shifting sands,
Able to withstand disaffections and occasional betrayals,
Sufficiently constant to create its own area of sacred quiet,
And also strong enough in its toughest test,
And sink the best of its virtues in it.
Love is…
Not merely the indulgence of ones personal taste buds;
It is also the delight indulging another’s.
Also, in remembering simplicities such as…
Tenderness and care,
In taking some pleasure in the act of adoring
And being content now and then
To lie by ones sleeping love
And to shield ones eye from the sun.

Blood-shed

Dark it was,
down at the alley,
no a sound could be heard,
it was silent,
from the face of the bright full moon,
i know, is alive.
it has eyes that could see the inner me,
the uneasiness, the fear.
i hear a heart,
pumping so rapidly,
was it someone’s…
no!
its mine, i think?
hurriedly, my feet,
moving so quickly,
as if its telling me…
nah!
it cannot be
could someone be following me?
i glanced alertly at my back,
it was too late,
someone,
something,
put off the lights out of me.
i could sense the coming of death,
sucking every last drop of life.
i was there,
lying effortless on the cold ground,
in the dark
down at the alley.

EVERYBODY (reposted from d'_unknown_shade August 22, 2007)

just this morning i realized, i was EVERYBODY else, doing what EVERYBODY else does, thinking what EVERYBODY else thinks. like mindless zombies. waking every morning doing what EVERYBODY elses does. taking a warm shower, drinking your hot coffee, preparing for work, and at the office guess what, you also do what EVERYBODY elses does. acknowledging your boss you have arrived, taking your seat at your desk getting comfortable as you rummage through the piles of paper and getting started to do what EVERYBODY elses does… work. as the day ends not a thing in your mind you notice that you also do what EVERYBODY elses does you acknowledge again to your boss you are preparing to leave, as you walk out the door a sudden brush of freedom from the hell hole of work slams into your face, at home you take your dinner, have a quick shower, brush your teeth then go to bed and dream that you live in a world where nothing as it seems, no worries to fonder, lots of trouble to make, you’re carefree. the exact opposite of the world you step on since the beginning and then you wake up, sunlight blinds you eyes and then you realize it starts over again doing what EVERYBODY elses does… how about you? really! then you are one of us, a mindless zombie crawling and finding your place in a world full of nothing but utter dull things like EVERYBODY.

To do do do.. I need a Hero...

A burning house, a band of banshees, group of cowboys with neon colored whips and of course Bonnie Tyler herself. A definite classic groove.

I remember this as one of the soundtrack of an interesting movie way back. Short Circuit, with a one of a kind character Johnney 5 (robots like him are "next generation" back then). The music does have a catchy tune with a fair written lyrics, but whats up with the neon whips? are those floorboards moving? creepy, what i don't get about the video is the story. the house just burst into flames and those cowboys just standing around her? and lets not forget the ladies in white curtain sheets hmmmm, anyway still worth watching with the powerful vocals of Bonnie Tyler. One of my listening favorites.

The Lady In Yellow

One of the most gracious lady we have ever laid eyes on, i was a small child then and i hardly know anything what is going on.

The First Lady President of the Philippines.

The lady who overthrew the Dictatorship of the Marcos Regime and the beginning of the realization of a Democratic country.

For the past month of suffering from cancer, shes now at peace, she died at 3:18 a.m. Saturday according to her son Sen. Benigno "Noynoy" Aquino III from cardiac arrest.

The Philippine people are in deep mourn for the loss of a wonderful leader and a gentle person.

You will be forever treasured and remembered.

Maria Corazon Cojuanco Aquino

1933-2009

My Plates

in continuation with my art labels here are some of my plates back when i was in college, some of you might be probably wondering, yes i did took up architecture but it was too much for me so i made a 180 degree turn and continued being a commerce student, i know drawing is in my blood but too much stress and the late nights is not for me, so for now I'm sketching, freelance.

My Final Fantasy

One of my fondest memories growing up is playing video games, Back when i was little i used to play on my Nintendo's Family Computer (i bet some of you remember that particular early console) and some of the many cartridges (yes, we call them cartridges) i used to play are Contra, Ice Climber and of course who could ever forget Super Mario, and as years go by my gaming instinct still searches for more, until when i was in college have i discovered a game that became a big part of my life.

The second installment of the Final Fantasy Franchise (the first was Final Fantasy 7) Final Fantasy 8 was released 1999 directed by Yoshinori Kitase developed by Square Co., Ltd. it was a dream come true to play this wonderful game. I quickly became attached to the the many characters of the game particularly the main character himself, Squall Leonheart. The game revolves around issues such as war, friendship, family and Love which is why the game became a complete success.

I can never get enough of this fantastic game so thats why I'm giving it a special tribute here, thanks to TheBigLT of Youtube i managed to find this video consisting of the first 11 cutscenes of the game:

1. Opening (Liveru Fatali)
2. Quistis
3. Balamb Garden
4. Zell Dincht
5. Dollet Assault
6. Selphie Tilmitt
7. The Communication Tower
8. Robot Chase (part 1)
9. Robot Chase (part 2)
10. Rinoa Heartilly
11. Rinoa and Squall at the Dance

This is just Part 1 of the 7 compiled cutscenes from Final Fantasy 8 game, and now i leave you with the most famous quotes from the beginning of the game:

"I'll be here..."
"Why...?"
"I'll be 'waiting'... here..."
"For what?"
"I'll be waiting... for you...so... if you come here... you'll find me."
"I promise."

untitled 1

one of the few drawings i did when i was in college

it was August 22, 2000

inspired by the movie Cruel Intentions 1999